apparently the secret to your success is patron
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
True strength comes from lack of pants
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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