Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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