he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
So. Much. Porn.
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