We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
