the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
