I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
