I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
