she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
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