You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
