I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
