i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
