Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize