There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
