PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
