cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Randomize
