He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Randomize
