I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Help me help you realize you are a moron
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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