I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
My pussy is not your playground.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize