I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
