is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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