just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize
