he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
