You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
