we're blogging at a bar
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Even my vagina gasped.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Randomize
