So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
my shit smells like andre
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
