respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Randomize
