don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
