I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
