We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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