i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Randomize
