I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
