I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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