I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Randomize
