I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
