He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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