Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
