If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
