the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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