You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
