My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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