So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
