Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
