we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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