wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
