We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Randomize