Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
