It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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