I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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