I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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