I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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