So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
