She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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