I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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