We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
We need a shit load of segways right now
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
