i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
