Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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