Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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