i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
