i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
