The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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