Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
